“If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.” —Nora Roberts
“Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it!” —Maya Angelou
Asking for what you want is actually very simple, yet the mere idea of it can trigger fears, both conscious and unconscious. When there’s an opportunity to ask for something you would like—such as asking a friend for a ride to the airport—you may notice a tightness in your gut, an increase in your heart rate and respiration, and a slight trembling in your hands. Getting physically activated like this at the mere thought of making this request can either deter you from doing so, or with the courage of Lion Spirit, cause you to act in spite of your nervousness and trepidation. That’s what true courage is—acting in spite of fear.
Whether you’re consciously aware of the fear or it is so deeply embedded in habitual beliefs and avoidant behaviors, the consequences of asking for what you want can loom larger than they really are. Often when I’m considering a request and I feel myself holding back, I ask myself, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Then I think of possible consequences and more often than not it comes down to this: the other person might say no. I think most of us can endure this, yet sprinkled in are other concerns, such as, “What will they think of me?” The fear of disapproval can dominate and inhibit us from making even simple requests, and becomes the barrier to getting what you want.
Lion in the Children’s Spirit Animal Cards has some sage advice, not only for children, but for us grown ups as well. The card itself simply states “Ask for what you want,” while in the guidebook that accompanies the cards Lion states:
“Whenever you want something, simply ask for it, as in ‘Please pass the salt.’ It works best when you use words, rather than trying to hint or have someone guess what you want. Even simple things, like help with what to wear for school, or when you would like a friend to play a game with you. You can even ask to spend special time with one of your parents, or for a friend or relative to come to your soccer game. And you don’t need to roar like I do—just ask!
“Just as you can ask for whatever you want, the person you ask has the right to say no. You have a right to ask, but it’s also important to respect and accept the other person’s right to say no, and this especially includes your mother and father. Sometimes it’s even okay to ask a second time, but if you do, be polite rather than demanding or insisting on getting your way. And if you don’t get your way, let it go!”
Ways to support this notion follow the teaching from Lion spirit. Here are the suggestions:
* Pay close attention to opportunities to ask for what you want and do so politely and respectfully.
* When you try something that seems too difficult, ask for help rather than getting or giving up.
* Make a list of three things that you would like to have happen and ask God, the angels, Lion spirit, or any other spirit guides for help in in making these happen.
As those of you who have already used these cards, you know that in the latter part of the guidebook there is a section for parents on how to work with your children with the cards. Under each of the 24 animals there are suggestions for specific ways to do so. Under “Lion” here are the suggestions parents can implement to support children being direct in asking for what they want while at the same time respecting the other person’s right to say no:
* Encourage your child to ask for what they want instead of doing it for them.
* Teach them about asking by modeling it with your children and with others.
* When your child asks for something that you say “no” to, be clear and straightforward with them with your refusal while acknowledging their right to ask.
* In situations where it’s obvious they want something but don’t ask, let the natural consequences of not asking be the teaching.
* If they share with you that they’d like something from a teacher or a friend but haven’t asked, encourage them to do so and even offer to go with them but do not do the asking for them.
I would emphasize that this is not only for children but we grown ups can benefit from this advice! You can even take this one step further if you so choose. How about about asking your Higher Power for what you want, whatever form? Just like in the physical world, it helps to know what you want first in order to manifest it, so be as clear as possible in stating your request. If you want a house, then continue to visualize it in as much detail as possible. If you want peace, then ask for it.
The most powerful way of identifying what you want is when your will is in line with the will of Spirit. Always listen first to your heart of hearts, to the Creator’s desire no matter from where it emanates, such that you can match your will and intention with the Will of Spirit. You’ll be amazed at how much better your life will be by doing so.
“You can’t ask for what you want unless you know what it is. A lot of people don’t know what they want or they want much less than they deserve. First you have figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, you have to have the guts to ask for it.”—Barbara De Angelis
About The Author: Dr. Steven Farmer is the author of the several best-selling products including Children’s Spirit Animal Cards, Earth Magic, Animal Spirit Guides, Power Animals, Earth Magic Oracle Cards, Power Animal Oracle Cards, Messages from Your Animal Spirit Guides Oracle Cards